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Helpful information for and about blending families.  
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NEW!  Stepfamily Summer Survival Tips -
Summertime is here! At least it is in Arizona, where the temperature has hovered around 113 degrees for the past three days. (Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining - I like the heat!) In stepfamilies summertime means that the kids are out of school and either hanging around your house complaining that they're bored, or they're off visiting their other parent, hanging around their house complaining that they're bored. Whether your stepkids are visiting you for a week or two, or all the kids are home for the summer, how do you keep the kids relatively free from boredom? Here are some suggestions...

American Idol -
I was reading an editorial in the newspaper the other day which lamented the relatively poor position of American kids on the future economic global stage. Apparently our kids lag behind the children of other countries such as Finland and China in academics and, the logic goes, if our kids are lagging now in education, they will not be at the forefront of technology nor will they be leaders tomorrow. The writer didn't blame our school systems, or parents (a first!) but put all of the blame squarely on "American culture." He very eloquently said "In China, Bill Gates is Britney Spears. Unfortunately, in America, Britney Spears is Britney Spears." He has an excellent point...

The Difference between Blended and Polygamous Families -
If you've read or seen the news lately, I'm sure you're aware of the "Polygamy Situation" in Texas, Utah and Arizona. Last week Texas Child Protective Services raided a FLDS compound and removed more than 400 children, transferring them to shelters in order to investigate allegations of sexual abuse. The situation is horrifying and confusing for everyone involved, as well as for the general public, who are simply stunned and wonder how such a thing can occur in 21st century America. Why do I bring up this situation? Because when asked the question "Are there blended families in the Bible?" people assume we are talking about polygamous families...

Tricks of the Trade and Other Mother Myths - 
 I won’t sugar-coat it: choosing to love, and live with, children who wish you were dead is not easy. There are no magic words which will speed up a developing stepchild/stepparent relationship. There are no mysterious potions that you can mix into their macaroni-and-cheese which will make them love you. Basically, there are no tricks of the stepparent trade. However, there are ways to build relationships with your stepchildren that don’t involve tricks, magic mirrors, or poisoned apples...

New Year's Resolutions -

        We are now three weeks into the New Year. How are your New Year’s resolutions holding up? If you’re like 90% of Americans, you’ve now lost your resolve and are back to business as usual. Most people give up on their New Year’s resolutions by January 8^th. Yet, experts say it takes 21 days (that’s 3 full weeks!) for a new behavior to develop into a habit. That’s 21 days of concerted effort and mindfulness – proactively concentrating on your resolution, developing a plan to incorporate it into your life, and putting the plan into action. It is about 14 days more than most people are willing to work at it! We live in a world of instant messaging, microwave meals, email, voice mail, fast food, and a “gotta-have-it-NOW” mentality. What do New Year’s resolutions have to do with blended families? Too many people look at their stepfamily like a resolution...

Born in a manger, raised in a blender- 
        You know the beginning of the story: During the reign of Caesar Augustus, a young virgin named Mary, and her fiancé Joseph, were on their way from Nazareth to Bethlehem for the first Roman census. She was very pregnant at the time (with a child fathered by the Holy Spirit) and she went into labor. Since there were crowds of people in town for the census, the inn was overbooked and so Mary's son Jesus was born in the stable behind the inn where the animals were fed. 
        When we think about Jesus' birth, we always picture the manger scene as a peaceful tableau with the shepherds, the angels and the animals. Mary usually seems beautiful, serene and well-rested despite just having delivered a baby in a barn without the aid of a midwife or an epidural, and there is Joseph, standing next to her looking so proud and smiling at all the shepherds.... Hold on a minute!...

Martha Stewart doesn't live here - 
        Ahhh...there's a frosty nip in the air as you shake the snow from your coat. You open the front door, admire the welcoming hand-made floral wreath which hangs upon it, and the scent of freshly baked pumpkin pie gently engulfs you as you step inside. Soft music plays in the background, and you see a lovely arrangement of hand-dipped candles and carved gourds in the center of the dining room table, which is set with your spouse's great-grandmother's china, imported wine goblets and sterling silverware. Dinner will be served at 1:00 precisely, and the children quietly...

Inlaws and Outlaws - 
        While divorce dissolves marriages, it does not dissolve families. Children are still related to their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins from both sides of the family...

The Ex Files - 
        Remember the X-Files? I loved that show - mainly because it was spooky and so unreal. However, it occurs to me that even though Mulder and Scully were usually able to solve the extraterrestrial mysteries they encountered week after week, they would have been stumped by the antics of some very earthly ex-spouses. How ARE you supposed to get along with your ex-spouse: the other parent of your child, the person you once knew and loved, that person whom you can no longer talk to without losing your patience or your mind...

Monsoon Mayhem - 
        Here in Arizona, we joke about the dry heat, but admittedly summers in the Phoenix area are torrid. We basically just learn to deal with temperatures above 110 degrees. However, we also have a really interesting weather phenomenon called the Monsoon. It is a seasonal wind shift that occurs during the latter part of the summer, bringing moisture and humidity up from the Gulf of Mexico into our scorching valley. During the monsoon we experience huge walls of dust that rapidly blow into the valley and create impossible visibility conditions, followed by crashing thunder, torrential rainfall ("But it's a dry rain!")...